The colours of happiness will never appear without a border;
The darkness of sorrow, without which we’d know not joy.
Elation, it seems, is like an obsessive hoarder;
It hangs on to the fragments of life like a child clutches a toy;
Memories shade every section of our lives;
Childhood to present are strokes of a brush;
Every new colour the result of how one strives;
Blocked out with black to symbol death’s eternal hush.
Before the blackout comes a swathe of light;
See colours dance on a canvas of our making,
The dark border is there but rarely captured by sight;
Look at the edges for inner awakening;
We are framed by the dark to make more vibrant the bright.
Longing and yearning, twisting and turning,
Desires and dreams unravel at their seams,
Tears start to sting, no end to the burning,
Heart and mind at war; a lurch and a roar,
Stomach in knots, painfully churning,
Mouth forming words to start a furore.
Explosions inside where emotions reside,
Containment impossible, no place to hide.
Screaming, shouting, spitting, then crying,
Reason and sanity inexplicably dying,
Relief from expression, regret for confession,
When calm soon follows, in creeps depression,
No retraction of hurt, no clock to turn back,
Control and restraint painfully slack,
Self-loathing abundant for all that you lack.
Silence is golden, but rage is gothic black.
You thought you wanted it, then you had it, you got it, you got me,
Only to hate it, reject it, destroy the whole fantasy.
For you life as a player,
It seems it has to be,
Gaming and shaming,
Paining and breaking,
No conscience to tame it,
Prevent the whole tragedy.
I often ask God “why would you target me?”
Becoming a victim of someone so openly
Devoted to notches,
Chasing bare crotches.
Proud of his attitude,
No conscience to stop it.
If time could reverse I’d willingly clock it,
To erase our first contact,
Just dead it and drop it,
No cast-off label,
No sad-ending fable,
See who’s worth trusting
Who’s only lusting
Who’s only gaming, playing and hustling.
Now we have friendship,
Damaged for life,
Ruined and weakened all by your pride.
Something to brag about,
To show off to your friends,
Putting nails in the coffin,
Remember when it ends,
Game and gaming killed,
What was once yours to treasure;
A soul that was happy, now tarnished forever.