Can A Friendship Survive Without Trust?

They say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”. Such is the world in which we live; a place where smiles mask hostility and people willingly hide behind a veneer to keep up the illusion of ‘friendship’.

Imagine someone you have been ‘friends’ with for over 5 years is suddenly revealed as someone to have routinely lied to you, made fun of you behind your back, used you for their own gain and took pleasure in repeatedly humiliating you? What would you do? Would you forgive, forget and give them a second chance? Would you secretly regard them as a ‘frenemy’ and resort to playing them at their own game by pretending to be friends? Or would you turn on your heel and walk away?

It’s a taxing dilemma. In our current society, many will veer towards keeping up appearances – say nothing and feign friendship. Others will feel outraged and hurt by the deception and unceremoniously  kick the culprit to the curb. But what of the rest? The compassionate folks who are willing to give the person another chance? Are they the weak or the strong ones? Walking away vs. trying to forgive – it’s one hell of a bitch fight for your conscience. Both options are draining and take a lot of resolve and inner strength.

What would you do? And what do you think of those who would do the opposite?

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Love Lost

Love rises like a sun to give warmth and light,
Feelings start to grow like delicate flowers,
Colours are vivid and unnaturally bright,
In a body so charged with amazing superpowers.
Eyes dance and glow like firefly swarms,
Cheeks ache from smiling for hours unbroken,
Every beat of your heart miraculously warms,
Ailments are cured with words unspoken,
Love is a wonder more devastating than war,
The most dangerous risk offering the biggest reward,
There isn’t a moment you don’t hanker for more,
For time spent in love before your heart was cruelly broken.

To All The Wannabe Players

A ‘player’ is just a desperate man trying to hide all his personality defects behind the adulation of his peers. They idolise him because he can pull women. They think he’s ‘the man’ because he shags girl after unsuspecting girl, using childish playground techniques to lure them into bed. Or, if he’s really pathetic, he relies on books like ‘The Game’ because he can’t think of how to attract the opposite sex without help.

In Hollywood movies, he starts off being the guy every other man wants to be … He’s the envy of his friends. To them, he has charm, charisma, sex appeal and balls of steel. He punches above his weight and seems to have it all. Fast forward to the end of the movie and he’s the one all his friends have outgrown. He’s the one without a family, trying desperately to hang on to the fringes of his buddies’ lives. The pals who once wanted to be him now find him immature and annoying. He’s suddenly the one his mates are least likely to want to emmulate. Instead, they all have lovely girlfriends or wives and beautiful, endearing kids who give unconditional love – they accept their man / father for all that he truly is and not for what he could be.

A player thinks excessive sex and breaking women’s hearts makes him a real man but real men don’t use women. They don’t treat them as possessions. They don’t lie to them without conscience. They don’t feel the NEED to pull for an ego boost. They don’t fear or disparage committment. They don’t run away from relationships. And they don’t ever abandon their kids.

If you’re one of these sad losers that always idolises the player in the movies and stupidly thinks they’re living a better lifestyle *NEWS FLASH* – NOBODY EVER WANTS TO END UP WITH THESE DUDES. Not even their friends. If that’s a future you want, then carry on gaming. No-one will care because, eventually, everyone around you will start to recognise you for the insecure, fragile guy that you’ve been so desperately trying to hide. Everyone’s true colours show in the end and the picture you paint to all the people you meet along the way will define you forever.

Still think players are cool? Yeah? God, I feel so sorry for you. You’re insecure AND dumb. Wow.

Why Wearing Spandex Can Be Sexy If You’re A Bloke…

You can buy your man these Spandex "Hot Shorts" from http://gb.ioffer.com

Let’s face it, every heterosexual girl and every homosexual bloke wants the same thing… a good man who exudes enough chemistry to make you want to rip all your clothes off and sit on his face lap. Add to that a certain charm, bravery and courage, and you’ve suddenly got the perfect guy. Or have you? What if I was to tell you that you need some spandex as well? Confused? Keep reading…

Several years ago, during the course of my work as a PR girl, I came face-to-face with a buff bloke in a red lycra suit, black spankies and a hair-do so quaffed, it wouldn’t move a millimetre in a category five hurricane. I fancied the [shiny] pants off him. Yup, ‘superhero’ Major Victory – his description, not mine – was very delectable indeed. I was so aroused, I spent a full bank holiday weekend locked indoors watching him cavort on the SCI FI channel (as it was then called) in the most bizarre reality TV show – ever. It was the brain child of comic book legend Stan Lee (which explained a lot!).

Suddenly, that old Bonnie Tyler track seemed almost phrophetic: ‘I need a hero / I’m holding out for a hero till the end of the night / he’s gotta be strong / and he’s gotta be fast / and he’s gotta be fresh from the fight.’ ‘Hell yeah’, I thought. ‘That’s what I’m talking about. Bring on the heroes and let them be super. There’s nothing noncy about a man in tights.’ Unless they haven’t been washed first… but that’s a whole other blog.

If you think about it, a superhero kit is nothing more than a uniform, but with a lot more stretch and colour. It’s like looking at your wife in her kinky Ann Summers get up… she puts it on, she takes on a sexy persona and – pow! – a slut is born. It’s the same principle for men wearing lycra. They put it on, do a few stretches, run round the block and a [super] hero emerges. But are we really ready for them?

Superheroes are bold, brave, selfless, sexy, courageous and morally incorruptible. And covered in spandex. Yet, I thought there was nothing remotely attractive about a Fathers For Justice protester clad in a Batman cossie who dominated the news in the same year I met the luscious ‘Major Victory’. So what if he was scaling a building while police helicopters did a loop-the-loop right by his head? In theory, we should have broken out in a hot flush and started gagging for the guy’s number. Instead, most of us frowned sympathetically and thought no more about it.

Modern society just isn’t ready for any superheroes… If I was standing at the bus stop and a man clad head-to-toe in blue lycra suddenly offered me a ‘lift’ with his miraculous power of flight, what would I do? Threaten to headbutt the deviant freak and tell him to clear off, thinking all the while of how ashamed his mother must be. Perverted loser. Harsh, I know, but in this day and age, we’re surrounded by nutters and weirdos… even if the aforementioned freak turned out to be truthful and suddenly shot up into the sky, I’d still be looking around for David Blaine and a camera crew. Worse still, I might run like an Olympic athlete towards the nearest police station, sounding certifiable with my tales of a flying man in Spandex. And then I’d be the one labelled as ‘Loser’.

Really, the only way it’d be cool to fancy a man in fancy dress is if the media embrace him, build him up into the nation’s saviour and he becomes a celebrity. After all, it’s acceptable to lust after an icon – even one in spandex – without people thinking you’re some twisted cow who needs to get out more. Even his mother suddenly feels proud. He sells his story in a multi-million pound book deal, a film is made about his life, he bags a supermodel girlfriend with more bones jutting out than a mass grave genocide pit and he’s completely unattainable to an average girl like me. Yes! That’s the key. It’s the fantasy that’s alluring, not the reality. I like the idea of being with a superhero. I’m just not sure I’d like the reality. It’s the dream of having someone kind and brave and gifted and über-strong for a lover that triggers the tingling session in my spine and other areas.

By remaining a dream, I’ll never be disappointed. There’s no real-life hero who turns out to be a twat when you meet him. There’s just imagination, hope and desire. You can hear it in Bonnie Tyler’s voice as she wistfully belts out: “Where have all good men gone? / And where are all the gods? / Where’s the street-wise Hercules / To fight the rising odds?” He’s probably around here somewhere, but too scared of aggressive female bloggers to ever make himself known…

This Week’s Top Picks – Vintage Wedding Must-Haves

Summer’s here and the wedding season is in full swing. Couples tie the knot under the sun’s watchful gaze, radiating their own warmth as they say their sacred vows. Tear-filled eyes shine with the reflection of love and joy as boyfriend and girlfriend finally become man and wife. At last.

The only thing that could make the day more special is knowing that your wedding includes at least one spectacular, vintage masterpiece that has a glorious history of long-ago love. Here are my favourite pick of the weeks, recreating the magic of by-gone eras that were famous for not only their splendour but also for their wonderfully unashamed romance and whimsy:

The beautiful silk dress below is now on sale for $300 dollars on Etsy.com:

Lovely Vintage Silk

Check out the wonderful detail on the bodice:

Detailed embroidery and beadwork to catch the light

And the button-up back gives a sexy and stylish finish to ensure you look always spectacular, even from from back to front!

Go back in time with vintage button loops

It’s not all about your wedding day though… don’t forget the wedding night (as if you could!). Believe it or not, you could introduce some vintage glamour into your first night as man and wife. Before you start gagging at the thought of using something already used on on your wedding night, take a peep at the luscious 1950s boudoir slippers below… guaranteed to turn you into a sexy siren in the bedroom, whether you team them with sexy underwear, or decide to showcase them alone 😉

Buffing yourself in your boudoir? 'Go buff' more like, by wearing these & nothing else!

Imagine kicking these off in front of your brand new hubby… but go easy, they’re too beautiful to rough up… even if it is your honeymoon!

Slipping into things on your wedding night...

At $40, these boudoir slippers are a wedding gift you can afford to give yourself, or cheekily persuade your maid of honour to buy for you. Afterall, that’s what bridal showers are for 🙂

Relationship Deconstructed

You thought you wanted it, then you had it, you got it, you got me,
Only to hate it, reject it, destroy the whole fantasy.
For you life as a player,
It seems it has to be,
Gaming and shaming,
Paining and breaking,
No conscience to tame it,
Prevent the whole tragedy.
I often ask God “why would you target me?”
Becoming a victim of someone so openly
Devoted to notches,
Chasing bare crotches.
Proud of his attitude,
No conscience to stop it.
If time could reverse I’d willingly clock it,
To erase our first contact,
Just dead it and drop it,
No cast-off label,
No sad-ending fable,
See who’s worth trusting
Who’s only lusting
Who’s only gaming, playing and hustling.
Now we have friendship,
Damaged for life,
Ruined and weakened all by your pride.
Something to brag about,
To show off to your friends,
Putting nails in the coffin,
Remember when it ends,
Game and gaming killed,
What was once yours to treasure;
A soul that was happy, now tarnished forever.

The Death of Friendship (Poem)

Friends will always come and go;

A grievous fact I’ve come to know.

Bonds are fragile, not permanent chains,

Too easily broken whenever it pertains,

Dead are the roots to hold friendship in place,

Their outstretched arms now withered from hate,

Twisted and weak, hammered by the rains;

Tears still streak my bloated face.

Loneliness… such a desolate state,

It slows the world to a lethargic pace.

Memories linger like a ghost by its grave.

Am I Too Fussy? – 13th January, 2007

 Last week, my mate’s mum told me that I was too fussy and that I’d never meet a suitable bloke unless I changed my criteria.

I’ve thought about this and, I ask you, is it really too much to want to meet someone that I have chemistry with in the first 5 seconds? Is it really my fault that I like the quick-witted, sarky ones? I mean, I meet guys all the time, but I don’t fancy them… there’s always something wrong.

Take the super good-looking guy that asked me out a hip hop club night… he was wearing a clown suit. Seriously. I could just about see his face under the outrageous wig, and don’t even get me started on the loud shirt, over-sized shoes and braces holding up his trousers. Call me prejudiced, but I really don’t like clowns.

Then there was the cute man I met on holiday – his chat up line was “I like to lick it before I stick it” which he followed with a child-like giggle and a cocked eyebrow. Hell, no. That was just too friendly. Then there was the tall, dark and handsome bloke I met at a bar – he told me that he makes every woman reach orgasm because he likes to stick his finger up their bum during love-making. I didn’t even finish my drink before I ran for the nearest exit.

Then there was the ‘wonderful’ religious geezer who told me that if he wasn’t marrying his fiance he’d marry me instead but I shouldn’t let that stand in the way of us getting it together.  I told him to naff off and headed to the nearest chipie to buy a pork kebab.

Am I fussy?

Well, really, am I?

Thought not.

Romance & Relationships – 10th January, 2007

Your man says that you’re getting fat. What do you say? I say, “Oh yeah, I’ve been meaning to weigh myself. I’m just waiting for the right man’s face to sit on.” Offensive? So I’ve been told…

Your man takes you out to dinner (great, he’s over the whole weight gain worry) but he orders a vegetarian salad for you (strike the previous thought). Do you politely eat the salad and feel tearful cuz it doesn’t even have any croutons? I say: “Honey, no-one gained energy by eating a few lettuce leaves decorated with a tomato. How do you expect me to go home with you, strip seductively to my undies, suck you off like a hydraulic doll, bend my body like a contortionist and then bounce on your lap like an Olympic Athlete?”  Fact: men getting women to eat salad only provides sufficient energy for a man to have to use his own hand when he takes his missus home from the restaurant.

Your man buys you a surprise gift… Diet pills. And they were expensive. Do you seethe silently cuz he didn’t spend the money on shoes or jewellery instead? No. You graciously accept and then grind several laxatives into his daily breakfast. If you give shit, you should get shit.