Beckoned eventually by absolute loneliness. A life will extinguish without a last flicker of fight. Surrounded by shadows, possessions and emptiness, look back on a life steered by a hand that squeezed too tight. Every pathway hid not a door but a wall. The desired opening most impenetrable of all. Fists banged and punched until they bled. Legs kicked with an anger that burned a scorching red. Now gone forever as a body lays still, cold to the touch if there was someone to feel it. Passing on from this life with no legacy in place. A lifeless seed, a hope gone to waste. What joy can there be if we never bear fruit? What use is living when living is the end? Where was the path with a different route, instead of the maze that had a wall at every bend?
Love rises like a sun to give warmth and light,
Feelings start to grow like delicate flowers,
Colours are vivid and unnaturally bright,
In a body so charged with amazing superpowers.
Eyes dance and glow like firefly swarms,
Cheeks ache from smiling for hours unbroken,
Every beat of your heart miraculously warms,
Ailments are cured with words unspoken,
Love is a wonder more devastating than war,
The most dangerous risk offering the biggest reward,
There isn’t a moment you don’t hanker for more,
For time spent in love before your heart was cruelly broken.
Life is a wonder to destroy or build;
Its beauty and shape for all to admire.
In this endeavour we don’t have to be skilled;
All we need is will and a burning desire.
Ignore the urge to cower and bow;
Our job is to build, that is our calling.
There’s no need to train or try to learn how;
The skills are ingrained so we need to stop stalling.
Procrastination, self-doubt and pity,
Tear down walls of our own clumsy making,
Emotions are wrecking balls in a world aready gritty;
A devastating ruin so vast and deflating.
Tools lay discarded, paralysed by rust,
Yet Utopia’s a paradise so easily erected;
When we look into our soul and find self-trust;
Faith and belief are the gateways selected;
Brave the path, it’s your world your shaping;
Temples, roads and neighbourhoods in a personal map;
The world at your feet is now so engaging;
Because life is our own – the world rests in our lap.
The colours of happiness will never appear without a border;
The darkness of sorrow, without which we’d know not joy.
Elation, it seems, is like an obsessive hoarder;
It hangs on to the fragments of life like a child clutches a toy;
Memories shade every section of our lives;
Childhood to present are strokes of a brush;
Every new colour the result of how one strives;
Blocked out with black to symbol death’s eternal hush.
Before the blackout comes a swathe of light;
See colours dance on a canvas of our making,
The dark border is there but rarely captured by sight;
Look at the edges for inner awakening;
We are framed by the dark to make more vibrant the bright.
Admire, for once, your heart, mind and soul,
They come together for a common goal;
In times of need when spirits may plummet,
Reflecting a life path leading far from its summit,
The heart, the mind and the eternal soul,
Close ranks against weakness so it won’t foster or grow,
To hold aloft a wilting spine,
To mend and reinforce from further decline,
To balance emotions that dangerously simmer,
To shine a light in a world grown dimmer
By heartbreak, sorrow, grief or despair,
Through every situation where “life’s unfair”,
Strength marches forth, unwavering and loyal,
Calming the blood when it starts to boil,
Capping the volcano of lava within,
Replacing tears with an emerging grin,
Creating hope where desolation once reigned,
Bereft is a feeling no longer ingrained,
The cycle of weakness broken and discarded,
For heart, mind & soul preserved what they guarded.
Redemption leads to rich rewards,
Bestowed too freely to ungrateful hoards;
Good time girls who partied & snorted,
And saw countless babies gleefully aborted;
Bullies who joyfully abused and tormented,
They preyed on the meek & never relented;
Heartbreaking liars who cheated and stole,
Personal gain was always their goal;
All the troubled, selfish & unkind,
Get rewarded in life while the good still grind;
Why does redemption come to all the ungrateful?
Rewards aplenty for all the unfaithful,
Why does retribution ignore the big sinners?
So many in life emerge as clear winners,
But the meek, the bullied, the silent or ignored,
The quietly hurt; those who never roared,
Die as they lived; alone and so lonely,
While fate turned her hand to reward the phoney.
A merry-go-round forever spinning in high gear,
A playground for all to love and to fear,
A new road branches behind every bend,
A devil’s delight or a true God-send?
Instructions and rules are broken and discarded,
The grim reaper stays close though often disregarded,
Angels tread lightly without making a sound;
Silent watchers of the merry-go-round.
Some will jump off, others ride for the duration,
The former labelled ‘weak’, the latter praised for ‘dedication’,
Pace never changes yet each ride is unique,
Scenery swirls past but you can find what you seek,
For open minds have widely opened eyes,
While closed hearts mourn nothing but sad goodbyes.
Longing and yearning, twisting and turning,
Desires and dreams unravel at their seams,
Tears start to sting, no end to the burning,
Heart and mind at war; a lurch and a roar,
Stomach in knots, painfully churning,
Mouth forming words to start a furore.
Explosions inside where emotions reside,
Containment impossible, no place to hide.
Screaming, shouting, spitting, then crying,
Reason and sanity inexplicably dying,
Relief from expression, regret for confession,
When calm soon follows, in creeps depression,
No retraction of hurt, no clock to turn back,
Control and restraint painfully slack,
Self-loathing abundant for all that you lack.
Silence is golden, but rage is gothic black.
Drained, devoured, discarded and bruised;
All of the side-effects of being used.
Weary, bewildered, deeply confused;
The pain continues after you’re used.
Anger, frustration, even bemused;
It makes no difference; you were callously used.
Hatred and self-pity, now strangely fused;
Rage burns hotter after you’re used.
Decorum and pride, not so politely excused;
Self-loathing for weakness: only fools get used?
Thoughts of vengeance – revenge for being abused;
But your energy’s spent from being so used.
A crisis situation that cannot be diffused;
Until you get over feeling so used.
Hell is not an afterlife,
Hell is a reality.
I’ve walked through its doorway
Of masked duplicity.
I know what it wants,
I’ve seen its hunger and its greed,
For all the souls it has,
These aren’t its ruler’s need.
A soul is not enough.
It still wants to take.
A never-ending appetite,
It feeds on your ache.
Say goodbye to happiness.
So long dear sanity.
Farewell to kindness.
Burning all emotion,
Charred by its fire,
Strangely feeling cold.
A dark, dank emptiness;
Quickly takes hold.
No more sounds of laughter.
No light through the dark.
Desolation, despair and sorrow.
The world is horribly stark.
To exit through the door,
To leave this world behind,
I died every day,
I had to lose my mind.
Resurrection is a blessing.
I feel safe, alive and wise.
My soul is dead and buried.
A new one forced to rise.
I don’t know who I am.
Can’t say who I will be.
It doesn’t really matter
I finally feel like… me.