Sexy Sandwich

Men In Spandex

Who are you? You’re looking for “men in spandex” or “spandex man”, according to the list of most popular search referrals to my blog.

I do indeed have a post about men in spandex (I’d give you the link but you can up my site stats if you search for it) and I never dreamed it would be this popular. By the way, did I mention that the aforementioned blog includes a great image; buff man, very tight spankies, you get the picture…

I am starting to wonder if I should use tags like “women in lycra” to generate double the traffic. Has anyone got a photo of themselves in a pair of tight cycling shorts that I can post as a ruse please? Something that will emphasise their sexy thighs? Wait, will the inclusion of the words “sexy thighs” now also up my stats? Sexy thighs. Sexy thighs. Sexy thighs. Spandex. Spandex. Spandex.

Hey it’s worth a try, right?

Ladies Aren’t What They Used To Be – Part 2 (Not Suitable For Kids)

Earlier this year, I went to a club night in London which was one of the most eye-popping I’ve attended in the last 12 months. It was an urban themed event with a hip hop edge, where budding MCs freestyle against each other in hopes of winning a cash prize. Not to be outdone, ‘dancers’ round off the night with a booty shaking contest – again driven by the chance to win a sum of cash. Hotpants or G-strings are optional but favoured. Fair enough, each to their own. Shake what your momma gave you if you’re that hard up for cash but… Why flounce the object of the competition (butt shaking) when you lose? One disgruntled entrant was so aghast at being voted off at the end of the first round, she decided to flash her breasts to the entire club. Twice. Her momma must be so proud (see video link below).

Every entrant (MC, booty shaker, DJ) at the event agrees to be filmed for the club night’s YouTube channel, which – judging by the number of video views – must be raking in considerable dough from ad revenue. Furthermore, all spectators are also encouraged to film the events on their mobile phones, after which the footage naturally becomes their own to share online with their friends.

So, this begs the question, why shake what your momma gave you to win a few quid from an event organiser who can potentially make thousands from the videos of your performance? Why not shake your ass or bare your breasts to your own webcam on your own channel and rake in all the dough for yourself?

This is why I say ‘ladies aren’t what they used to be’. First of all, we aren’t being very ladylike in the club or on camera but, secondly -  and, in my view, most importantly- we aren’t being very smart about making money from our own personal brands. Why let someone else benefit? If you want to sell your body on camera, become the Oprah Winfrey of that show! Don’t end up being a spectator at your own party!

 

Ladies Aren’t What They Used To Be…

The thing I admire most about the Mad Men era of women is that they had not only style and grace, they also exuded sex appeal without having to flash their bits to all and sundry. Now, I’m all for empowerment and think women should wear whatever they feel fabulous in, but even I balked at this teenage girl’s ‘cheeky’ sight!

I spotted her on an escalator in a shopping mall. She was constantly pulling down her shorts to cover her modesty. The photos show her covered bottom… Before she pulled her shorts down, I was flashed most of her naked behind. If I was a heterosexual man, I would have cried with joy. Sadly, I am not. Most worryingly, the woman in front of this girl is her mother, who seemed to have no concern for the middle aged men who were ogling her under-aged daughter.

I burned with the desire to offer the teenager a free styling session and make-over. I wouldn’t have made her look too vintage, but as she was already rocking a slightly ’70s free love image, there was a lot I could have done to make her look less provocative while remaining faithful to the era.

When it comes to ‘batty riders’, teenagers should just say ‘No’!

This Week’s Top Picks – Vintage Wedding Must-Haves

Summer’s here and the wedding season is in full swing. Couples tie the knot under the sun’s watchful gaze, radiating their own warmth as they say their sacred vows. Tear-filled eyes shine with the reflection of love and joy as boyfriend and girlfriend finally become man and wife. At last.

The only thing that could make the day more special is knowing that your wedding includes at least one spectacular, vintage masterpiece that has a glorious history of long-ago love. Here are my favourite pick of the weeks, recreating the magic of by-gone eras that were famous for not only their splendour but also for their wonderfully unashamed romance and whimsy:

The beautiful silk dress below is now on sale for $300 dollars on Etsy.com:

Lovely Vintage Silk

Check out the wonderful detail on the bodice:

And the button-up back gives a sexy and stylish finish to ensure you look always spectacular, even from from back to front!

Go back in time with vintage button loops

It’s not all about your wedding day though… don’t forget the wedding night (as if you could!). Believe it or not, you could introduce some vintage glamour into your first night as man and wife. Before you start gagging at the thought of using something already used on on your wedding night, take a peep at the luscious 1950s boudoir slippers below… guaranteed to turn you into a sexy siren in the bedroom, whether you team them with sexy underwear, or decide to showcase them alone

Buffing yourself in your boudoir? 'Go buff' more like, by wearing these & nothing else!

Imagine kicking these off in front of your brand new hubby… but go easy, they’re too beautiful to rough up… even if it is your honeymoon!

Slipping into things on your wedding night...

At $40, these boudoir slippers are a wedding gift you can afford to give yourself, or cheekily persuade your maid of honour to buy for you. Afterall, that’s what bridal showers are for